Your father cheerfully moved into the basement 14 years ago. He’s never explained why.

It’s become awkward and embarrassing. He can’t climb the stairs anymore, so he never leaves. The rest of the family only really see him when they come down to do laundry. He’s in fine spirits. But you know how people talk… “Those Harrisons, have you heard? They make Gilbert live in the basement! I know…and at his age too”.

Your wife moves in on Monday – you explained your Dad’s absence at your wedding by inferring he’d passed away years ago after falling out of touch. This is going to be bad.