The storm’s been raging for seven years now. It probably won’t stop in your lifetime.

When the snows first started clowns went around saying “Winter is coming” and humming the Game of Thrones theme song. No one is humming anymore.

Everyone’s working from home since the trains stopped. Bananas are $46/kg and flown in from Thailand…when the planes can land.

The birth rate rose alarmingly, and then dropped precipitously when women realised they’d have to give birth at home, unassisted.

Snow dome sales have plummeted. Your sundresses hang forlornly, your woolly socks are more holes than socks.

You don’t have as many words for snow as the Inuit – but you are working on it. Many of them are not PG 13.