You’re an ordinary person. But for some reason, the kidnappers insist that you’re the one to hold hostage negotiations with them.

“I’ve told you before I’m really sorry but I’m not sure why you asked for me…or even how you knew my name to ask for me…I’m just plain old Carly Jacobs. I don’t know anything about the President’s family, or Iran. I never usually go out on Saturday nights, and I have an early start tomorrow, and still a half drunk glass of wine on my bench at home. Tell me again how you think I’ll be able to get the President to agree to your terms? I’m Australian, I work in a hardware store and am studying to be a teacher…how can I get your leader released from gaol even if you can prove you have Mr Clinton’s daughter…I don’t even have international dialling enabled on my mobile…!”