A religious leader can suddenly hear the thoughts of everyone around him.

It is not a good day for Pastor Simon.

It turns out that only one person, one measly person, in his congregation appears to believe in God.

And the reasons the others are here…they’ll make you blush, or get you arrested, or both…

Mrs Scanlon is just hoping that she’ll brush hands with the new church guitarist as they both reach for tea and biscuits after the service. The guitarist hasn’t thought of her once, though Jo is gay, she seems to be thinking about a very weird club she played in last night.

Turns out one of his other parishioners, Byron, who until now Pastor Simon would have sworn was dedicated to his wife, was at the club just to see Joanne too, and is hoping he’ll catch her eye again. Pastor Simon is perversely relieved to know Bryon doesn’t stand a chance.

Byron’s wife reeeallly doesn’t like her husband though and now Pastor Simon starts to worry about some of the options to hurt him that are running through Charlotte’s mind like an Uber eats menu.

The fact that the demure lady sitting next to Charlotte put her onto half the ideas is a surprise. He can’t quite remember her name but Pastor Simon will now have to report her to the police as he knows exactly what happened to the two yappy dogs of her neighbour on the day he arrived in town… and it’s making his stomach churn.

The owner of the dogs has forgotten their loss but is thinking about how much she can get away with filching from the collection plate this week as she still needs a thousand pounds for her cruise…

…and what’s this? She hopes Pastor Simon will accompany her despite their age difference!? As her thoughts continue to blare into his brain Pastor Simon turns crimson and flees the pulpit to the collective sigh of relief of his congregation.

Mr Chang, the only believer, really worries for the young Pastor who doesn’t seem to be showing much brotherly love for his new parishioners.