You’re stopped outside a department store for shoplifting. The security guard confiscates the tube of lipstick in your pocket. You have no idea where it came from.

As they march you out between the automatic doors with strong fingers gripping your upper arms you look back over your shoulder and spot your Uncle Gerard.

His grin stretches ear to ear as he licks his forefinger and makes an invisible tally mark in the air. The score is now even at two apiece.

You reflect on the list you made at Christmas as part of your latest bet and start to think…the next item is chicken. Creative problem solving is key. You ponder…a chicken or just chicken? You smile as you think of Uncle Gerard wrestling a hen, feathers flying. It would be easier to shoplift some raw thighs from the supermarket, or some nuggets from maccas, I reckon that would satisfy the criteria.

They should let you go in 45 minutes or so with another warning you figure. You might even be able to tick off number five this afternoon before your Uncle dislodges the bug from inside the heel of his boot – it must be setting off alarms all over the mall by now!