Every wall in the apartment was a different colour; there was a reason for that.

For years your boss at Boston’s leading hardware store had been topping up his staff’s wages with those sample pots of paint. Too tight to pay regulation rates he took the “or goods in kind to equal value” clause to ridiculous lengths. Not only are our walls many hued, but we have 18 towel rails in the bathroom, every picture hook is triple reinforced – all 312 of them – and you practically have to vault over the teetering stack of door mats that welcomes you!