Turns out fairies are called that because they’re obsessed with being fair. You begin to regret having one as a lifetime companion.

Sometimes you want to be able to take the larger slice of cake…

Look around accusingly when your tissue covers the black washing with fluff…

or ‘forget’ to take the bins out on a drizzling Thursday without a childishly sing song naggy voice on your shoulder breaking into its now overly familiar refrain:

NOT FAIR NOT FAIR don’t you dare or I’ll make you care on this thing I sweary swear!