You are house-sitting for a friend when her cousin arrives unexpectedly, needing to stay for a few days. A week goes by, and your friend calls to check in. She tells you that she doesn’t have a cousin.

By then it’s too late. You’ve fully adopted Benji and if Fiona doesn’t want him for a cousin then you are totally going to snap him up!

He fixed the washing machine.

He helped you finish your cucumber pickling project when you lost interest halfway through.

He lets you have first shower, and coaxes a better coffee from Fiona’s temperamental machine than you ever managed, while you’re in there. You’d keep him for that glorious morning smell alone.

But then he talked your brother off a ledge (literally) and dropped you at the hospital every day for a week so you wouldn’t have to take two trams and a bus to visit him.

Great Aunt Gwendolyne lets him call her Gwennie, you think you were about 26 before she bestowed that privilege on you.

He’s bought groceries twice, recommended a great series you binged together on Netflix called X, which was both dramatic and sexy, but has subtitles so appealed to the part of you that can’t love trash.

You need to convince Fi that everything is fine so she doesn’t come back early. You want maximum Benji time before you have to ask him the tough questions… like will you keep living with me mystery man as I love who we are together?