You are house-sitting for a friend when her cousin arrives unexpectedly, needing to stay for a few days. A week goes by, and your friend calls to check in. She tells you that she doesn't have a cousin. By then it's too late. You've fully adopted Benji and if Fiona doesn't want him for a... Continue Reading →
A mother enters a contest without her family's knowledge. It's a little bit awkward as it is a "best family communication" contest and of course they require you to prove your skills. The final is a cross between The Mentalist, Family Feud and a torturous charades round. It's on tomorrow. No one knows yet. You... Continue Reading →
When you glue them all together, it's really quite remarkable. You don't get a true view or really see the impact of the whole landscape unless you stand quite far back. You've never understood the point of mosaicing... all that cutting and sticking. The grout and shards of tiles turning up in your socks and... Continue Reading →
Your child is suspended from school because of what she brought to class. Now everyone turns on you and your family. Should you tell the journo that you've often wondered how quickly the thin veneer of society would fall away if push really came to shove? You've seen Cheryl's behaviour if the line of cars... Continue Reading →
It's the only tree for a mile in all directions. You're determined to cut it down. The drought has been terrible. Dust is cached into the wrinkles in your neck, you've completely soaked your top with sweat and the axe has barely bitten into the bark. You've nurtured this tree from a cutting, but you... Continue Reading →
A person's phobia controls her life, and no one understands. "I can't go outside" she criesand what follows is a series of whys. "Is it sunshine, the birds, the space?What's got your heart running a'pace? Is it the spiders or is it all the people?Is it tutus, volkswagons or the church steeple?" "Well, you see,... Continue Reading →
What begins as an insincere thank-you note to your in-laws devolves into a cathartic writing exercise. Thank you Beth and Richard for the fourth commemorative plate from your golf club's annual fundraiser. Obviously you want to help me collect a set of six or eight, so the whole family can be instructed on how to... Continue Reading →
Your country music-superstar father has no idea you exist. Your small-town-hairdresser mother makes you the centre of her world. They met just the once and presumedly conceived you after mere hours in each other's company. She was hired to tousle his iconic blonde locks and ended up ruffling much more. The fact his next album... Continue Reading →
First there was no water, and then there was too much water. I stripped off my bathrobe, donned my shower cap and did a silly little dance designed to minimise the time my toes were in contact with the cold tiles. Waiting for the water to heat up while still half asleep was a regular... Continue Reading →
The neonatal nurse isn't sure which baby is which. She shrugs and registers you both as 'Baby Collins'.She places you head to toe in the same crib and hopes someone else can work it out for her. Hours later your father stares at you through the glass, then he too shrugs and takes out a... Continue Reading →
Two friends are riding the train into work. One cannot stop staring toward the back of the car. "I really think it is him, I mean no one knows what he looks like exactly but everyone knows what his art looks like". As your friend stop speaking the smell of aerosol paint begins to waft... Continue Reading →
You go on a blind date where the man tells you that you're nothing like what you made yourself out to be in your profile. You thought you were being honest. He doesn't really bring it up until you're half way through dessert, but any restraint inferred by his waiting until then is undone when... Continue Reading →
You get caught shoplifting a pregnancy test. The manager calls your parents. You can't stand small towns! The fact you forgot to pay for the test, amongst your creams and pills and discount shampoo, is easily explained, but Scott ran to the phone without letting you open your mouth (or purse) to rectify things. He... Continue Reading →
A tornado sweeps through a neighborhood. Set a story in the community storm shelter, over the course of one night. 7.06pm - space between 28 people sitting on 28 chairs, 30cm7.31pm - space between 52 people sitting on 52 chairs, 21cm7.48pm - 13 people sitting on the floor between 52 people sitting on chairs. Distance... Continue Reading →
Words 