You have a roommate. You work days; she works nights. You haven't seen each other in 10 years, but you think you're falling in love with her. It's her smell. Her wit. And her thoughtfulness. Sometimes it seems mere moments since she's placed neatly folded clean washing on your bed and you pounce on it,... Continue Reading →
Heartbroken, you wish your ex would die. He does. Hopefully, you wish to win the lottery. You don't. Malevolent, you hope that yappy dog will get hit by the garbo. Screeeech. Bored, you want Netflix programming to improve. It doesn't. Wet, you try to invent a self drying shower. You fail. Fat, you eat better... Continue Reading →
First there was the cronut, then the cromuffin. Invent the next big pastry and sell it to your investors. Crofuburgers. Layers of flaky pastry stuffed with mascarpone cheese, sunshiny peach slices and a patty made of moist carrot cake...served with optional compote sauce, maple syrup and toasty almonds on top. What's not to love? It... Continue Reading →
An announcement emanates from nowhere: "Due to technical difficulties, tomorrow will be a rerun." You immediately start making plans. You know how to ace this test. No regrets. You'll get up early to go for that run you usually snooze though. You'll buy more rice bubbles so Katy won't have a melt down at breakfast.... Continue Reading →
Your workplace requires you to neatly trim your hair and beard. The regulations don't say anything about eyebrows, however. Which is downright weird. You get comments everyday, but then again you always have being served by a portly, straight, middle aged man is unexpected in the city's trendiest brow bar. Roughly 37% of comments are... Continue Reading →
We had the same name - first, middle and last - but we were not the same person. It first came to light when university entrance exam scores were published in the paper. It next caused confusion during a family reunion, then a bequest that benefited the wrong grand niece and a misguided love letter... Continue Reading →
I use that photograph as a bookmark for every book that I read. It just shows my brother and I laughing. It's from the time "before". It is only a great photo because of our joy that BLASTS from the frame. It is actually slightly fuzzy as though we (or the photographer) started to move... Continue Reading →
We thought we were going there to help, but I don't think we helped at all. That is so often the case. Good intentions. Poor execution. I'm obviously at fault but also to blame is the volunteer agency. We were woefully under prepared and ill equipped - philosophically, practically and materially. It was obvious from... Continue Reading →
Your dog is clearly convinced he belongs to someone else. Claudio sits at the doggy door and whines. Same time every day. He is much too large to squeeze more than his head towards freedom. He does that and sniffs the breeze. Always eastward. Always accompanied by a big sigh of resignation. He is in... Continue Reading →
This year the alphabet has 27 letters. Next year it'll be 28. It is like the bloody periodic table...how can we be confident that we understand the universe, or even be decisive about forming grammatically correct sentences, when experts keep moving the goal posts? I managed to communicate until the age of 53 with only... Continue Reading →
Explain why your character sleeps with the lights on. It started when she was about six or seven. Not for the reasons you'd expect. See silk worms spin silk in the day light only. Her three silk worms ate and bred and spun. Soon her 19 silk worms were spinning and breeding and eating. Mulberry... Continue Reading →
On a bet, you agree to walk everywhere and not use any sort of transportation every day for a month. It does limit your sphere of influence somewhat. It does great things for your thighs. Not so good things for the couple of pairs of shoes comfy enough to walk in. It changes your sleeping... Continue Reading →
There was a bloodstain on the baseball hat. It was creepy to say the least. Casually hanging there on the hat rack at the entrance to the party but with a slow, thick drii-ip as the blood dropped to the floor. Hand frozen in the moment I noticed the blood, my ratty fur stole started... Continue Reading →
There are online classes for everything nowadays. But I had no idea there was a class for that. (choose your preferred ending) I thought I'd be the only one surreptitiously trying to pull a flyer off the noticeboard...but the guy behind me confidently called out "grab one for me too wouldya mate?". I met his... Continue Reading →
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